The Net Monkey

[This article has been retroactively posted from my Kuro5hin Diary.]

“He’s poked his pecker in some sorry trash bins.”
– Libby Holden (Kathy Bates), speaking about Jack Stanton (John Travolta), in the movie Primary Colors

Did anyone else like that movie? In my opinion, the great quality of the film wasn’t necessarily the plot or acting, but all of the really great lines.

Anyway, here are a few little snippets of news.

• The server situation at home is working out very well. All I need to do is backup the data on Jupiter, the old system, for safe keeping and turn that box in to my new router / firewall / IDS / etc. Some day I will get around to doing it.
• On a related note, I got a cheap CPU upgrade card for the old PowerMac 5400 off eBay. It’ll bring it from a 180 mhz PowerPC 603e to a 300 mhz PowerPC G3. At some point here soon, I will get around to installing it. I’ve got NetBSD on it for now, but I may restore Mac OS 8/9 and use it as a jukebox in my bedroom. I have yet to make up my mind. I do have an older Performa, which can’t use NetBSD, that might serve that purpose instead.
• I have a couple people in my life who are always forwarding me e-mails. One of them is my father who will occasionally send me something funny that one of his friends sent him. I guess he gets a shitload of jokes in his inbox on a daily basis. The other person is a former schoolmate from high school. She and I have recently kept in touch and now I get an e-mail from her every day. While I appreciate what she is trying to say, I really don’t need an e-mail telling me that the most powerful channel of communications is prayer, the most contagious spirit is enthusiasm, and the most important thing in life is God. So, I may have to act on this and send her (as well as other people, of course) some negative e-mails about pestilence, violence, and death. I can be the yin to her yang (or is that the yang to her yin? Whatever.)
• Well, yesterday I wrote about getting my old job back. Yes, I got really stressed and burned out the last time I worked there, BUT there are some advantages to working there instead of here at Cummins.

• I will only have to drive 5 minutes to work instead of 45 minutes.
• I will be making more money; the most I have ever made.
• I will certainly not get bored.
• I will have job security, whereas now I am unsure where I will be at the end of the Summer.
• I will get to have my own slave assistant.
• I will have full health and dental benefits.
• I will be able to sleep later in the morning.
• I will have more flexible hours, in general.
• etc. etc. etc.

That’s all for now, folks.

[This article has been retroactively posted from my Kuro5hin Diary.]

Here is today’s meaningless, unrelated movie quote.

Prepare ship for ludicrous speed! Fasten all seatbelts, seal all entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall, cancel the three ring circus, secure all animals in the zoo!
– Colonel Sandurz, Spaceballs

So, okay, yesterday at lunch I went up to the cafeteria here, ate my lunch, and checked my voicemail. Little did I know there was a little surprise waiting for me.

The day started off like every other Monday, with me getting my tired ass out of bed, taking a shower, and driving into work. I sat at my computer screen, doing some work, barely concentrating on anything, and doing a little web surfing. I went to lunch, and while eating my hearty meal, I thought about politics, sex, work, sex, and my plans for the rest of the week. So, it was quite a surprise for me to get a phone call from my old boss, John, with who I’ve had zero communication since my last day back in November.

John was awfully chipper and asked if I could give him a call back because he had some questions for me. I was immediately suspicious and wanted to know why he wanted something from me. I wrote an e-mail to one of the guys I know who still works there asking if he had any idea why John would call. Apparently, the guy who was hired to replace me is leaving and going to be a partner in a company which is opening a branch office here in Indianapolis. As you can figure, John called to offer me my job back.

After speaking to John and the other owner, Ben, I called family members and friends asking for advice. I was really unsure and still somewhat bitter, so I needed to talk to others to get some help.

Everyone essentially agreed with me, in that if the offer was right, in terms of compensation and others things, I should take the job. So, I worked out an offer, with a pay increase, full benefits, retroactive tenure (going back to my original hire date in 2001), the ability to hire an assistant, and a few other things. I got it all in writing, even. So, I went ahead and accepted the position.

This could be a wonderful thing for me, or it could be a terribly stupid idea. I don’t know. They are the one’s who decided to contact me and offer the old position. So, I look at it like this: the worst thing that could happen is that I find a better job and quit. As long as the bosses are agreeing to the terms laid out in my offer letter, I should be a relatively happy camper.

Sometime when I feel like writing a novel, I’ll have to lay out the reasons I originally parted ways with these guys.

_{(Oh, and if you’re curious as to what the job entails, I was — and will be again — the Systems Administrator for a web design and hosting shop here in Indianapolis.)}

[This article has been retroactively posted from my Kuro5hin Diary.]

This morning my corporate-bullshit cherry got popped.

Here in the basement of the Corporate Office Building, I sit in an area shared with the accounts management people. These folks handle the creation, deletion, and updating of all domain accounts in the company. They add you to groups, give you permissions to shares, etc. and are complete, utter slaves to Remedy.

This morning this deeply religious guy, who we shall call Steve, came over and asked my opinion regarding another employee in the company, John. John is legally changing his name and the task of changing it on the network has been assigned to Steve. This apparently bothered Steve and he started talking about it with his group, as to why a man would change his last name. Steve came over to me and asked if I thought it was a “diverse situation” or not. What in corporate hell is a diverse situation? What kind of fucking brainwashing must one endure to use such a ridiculous term? This is sensitivity training gone stupid.

What Steve really meant to ask was whether or not I thought John was gay and was taking the surname of his partner. Unfortunately, the irony that he specifically asked me this question is completely lost to Steve, given the fact that I’m gay and he doesn’t know it.

I answered his question by asking another. I wanted to know if the new name was hyphenated, and it wasn’t. As a big homo, I know that lots of couples will go along the hyphenated name route. So, I wasn’t so sure. I came up with a few possibilities: the guy was taking the name of his wife (it must happen somewhere out there) or he was disassociating himself from his family. I then just said that I didn’t know and Steve went back to his area.

This brings up a few questions. Why does Steve give a shit as to why John is changing his name? Why beat around the bush using terms like “diverse situation” and not simply calling a spade, a spade? And lastly, and most importantly, do I look fat in these jeans?

My thoughts? Yeah, I think John is a queer and he’s taking the name of his partner. That’s definitely a major blip on my gaydar, but I think, if Steve really wants to know why John is changing his surname, he should just call John and ask him (even though it isn’t any of Steve’s business). If John is gay and he’s going through the process of changing his name, he’s not likely ashamed to admit his homosexuality.

As to whether or not I’d ever change my last name, fuck no. Changing last names is bullshit, and I’m the last of my genetic line to carry my surname. If I have a biological son somehow, you bet he’s getting my name.

Okay, back to work.

[This article has been retroactively posted from my Kuro5hin Diary.]

“Cameron has never been in love — at least, nobody’s ever been in love with him. If things don’t change for him, he’s gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she’s gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won’t respect him, ’cause you can’t respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn’t work.”
– Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick)

• I think George W. Bush and his administration will find something somewhere which will give justification to sending our troops to war in Iraq. He needs to save face to the Allies and to many of the folks who were initially against war, but were later persuaded to support the effort.
• The new server at home has been named, in keeping with my tradition of using planets, Marklar. So far all Samba file shares have been moved and are working perfectly. I installed Apache 2, MySQL 4, and PHP 4 last night, but those won’t go into heavy use until much later: whenever I decide to work on PHP projects again. Next on the list is to get e-mail and user accounts moved. Beyond that, I will need to go through Jupiter (the old server) and inventory the remains.
• This whole “Apple considering buying Universal Music” thing is pretty interesting. I sincerely hope it is true and that Apple does become the new owner. I think Apple would be much friendlier to online music swapping.
• As per MNS’s earlier diary entry, I have concluded that Purdue University (his alma mater), the Georgia Institute of Technology, MIT and others must be destroyed, for they breed terrorists. Beware! You all have been warned! Do not allow your children to attend such schools and study engineering and/or science, for they will surely become narrow-minded twits … or terrorists. Make them study the liberal arts!

That is all for now.

[This article has been retroactively posted from my Kuro5hin Diary.]

“So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair - ew - and cover it up with a backwards cap and we’re supposed to swoon? I don’t think so!”
– Cher (Alicia Silverstone), Clueless (1995)

• I was told yesterday afternoon that Cummins has decided to extended my contract even further, beyond June to around August. It feels good to finally have some job security again, but I am still baffled as to what they will have me do here since we’re wrapping up this packaging work.
• The first suspected case of SARS in Indiana has been reported today. The State Department of Health says that the public is at no risk.
• Last night I stayed up late attempting to install and boot NetBSD on an old PowerMac 5400/180, with relatively good results. The operating system installed flawlessly, but required a little tweaking for it to boot. The only problem is that console access can only be obtained via a serial port. I’m uncertain if this is permanent or not, but it may not be an issue once I figure out its role on my network, if any.
• I’ve spent all morning so far trying to figure out why FileMon and RegMon from SysInternals won’t operate under a non-privileged user in Windows XP. Duh! Of course they won’t run! They require administrator access! SysInternals says so. Well, at least those are two more packages I don’t have to handle later down the road.
• Last night I attended my first meeting of the Indianapolis Computer Society. Their monthly meeting included a presentation from Scott Jones who is the Chairman, President, and CEO of Escient, which is the Indianapolis-based company who owns Gracenote (formerly CDDB). He gave a good and interesting presentation regarding their company and the growing “convergence” market. Anyway, the meeting was full of a bunch of gray-hairs (old people, to you and me) and people asking questions about why their Windows XP won’t boot, during the technical support session prior to the main presentation. They also raffled off a few Windows-centric goodies, but I didn’t win shit. I haven’t decided if I’m going to attend the next meeting.

[This article has been retroactively posted from my Kuro5hin Diary.]

So this Republican walks into a bar ….

• Tomorrow night I will have my new server hardware, consisting of a dual Pentium II 400 mhz motherboard with onboard SCSI and a real nice tower case on wheels. Due to cost, I’m ditching the SCSI in favor of ATA RAID, which will be provided by a Promise TX-2000 controller and two 80 GB drives, mirrored.
• The old system is a Pentium III at 500 mhz and one 20 GB drive, and will be the new router and firewall. I’ll be using ipfilter, of course, as well as fancy software like Snort and whatever else I find out there which allows me to monitor the network.
• I’m also going to add wireless to the mix, which allows friends with laptops to easily get on my network. Of course, it’ll do the same for me once I get a portable computer.
• I really need to start getting my personal web site in order.
• Yesterday was a good day at work because I felt like I got a lot done. The packaging project is supposed to be finished soon, but it seems as if we’re going to work past the deadline since a bunch of wankers in the company haven’t been doing their jobs and sending us the software we need. Always someone else’s fault!
• I feel real good about the wholesome meal I cooked Sunday night for me and my roommate. I usually make anything quick and crappy for myself, but when I am cooking for someone else I actually enjoy doing it. We had marinated chicken breast with green beans and mashed potatoes: typical Indiana food. I think the next meal will have to be that jambalaya I made last year, but the challenge is finding andouille sausage here in Indianapolis.

[This article has been retroactively posted from my Kuro5hin Diary.]

Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Four hundred and seventy one!

• 12 to investigate Clinton’s involvement in the failure of the old bulb;
• 23 to deregulate the light bulb industry;
• 16 to cut funding for alternative lighting R&D;
• 34 to cut the marginal tax rate on high-wattage light bulbs;
• 9 to threaten trade sanctions if Germany and Japan don’t start buying more 110-volt bulbs;
• 53 to design a block grant so the states can change the bulb;
• 41 to chat with defense contractors about equipping everyone in the building with night-vision gear instead;
• And 283 to pass a law making it illegal to discuss naked bulbs, or screwing anything, on the Internet.

Enjoy!

[This article has been retroactively posted from my Kuro5hin Diary.]

What you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on? I bet you got, say, pitiful, portable picnic players. Come with uncle and hear all proper! Hear angels’ trumpets and devils’ trombones. You are invited!
– Alex DeLarge (Malcolm McDowell), Clockwork Orange

• I’m as happy as a little girl today because FreeBSD 4.8 has been released. Not many huge changes, but I believe this is the last release to come from the 4-STABLE branch. So, all the work now is going towards stablizing 5.0.
• This guy I “dated” (met up a few times, had some sex, some dinner, etc. over a year ago) who is six years younger than me wrote me a nasty-gram on AIM saying that the next time I decide to “out” him that I should tell him first. He got pissy that I mentioned going out with him to the female neighbor of the two guys with whom he is in a three way relationship. I said I was sorry, and jokingly said that his sexuality is somewhat “implied.” He then said, “forget it” or whatever. What a fucking immature whiny butt! I think he just wants to find an excuse to be mad at me because I dumped him, but that’s a whole different story. He needs to grow the fuck up and get over it. Who cares if he was a virgin before I met him?
• I think tonight I will be visiting the 745 Pub or possibly the Lockerbie Pub in downtown Indianapolis. Going to help some friends move a bed; and then we’re off to get twisted.
• I just had a sudden flashback of being on my dad’s Amiga 500 and making some kind of ANSI text animation. I remember making some kind of anti-PC shit for use on some Amiga-based BBS which I frequently called here in Indy. I think it had an Amiga shooting a missile or some other projectile at a PC. I mostly forget. None-the-less, I remember later using THEdraw! to build the menus for my old BBS.
• I have been invited by several friends around the USA to come visit. I can’t figure out which is the best place to go. You tell me! I have excluded traveling (i.e. getting laid and visiting friends) to places such as Chicago and Cleveland, which are all within reasonable driving distance of Indianapolis. Please make up my mind for me.

[This article has been retroactively posted from my Kuro5hin Diary.]

“Well, someone’s got to break the ice and it might as well be me, I mean, I’m used to being a hostess, it’s part of my husband’s work and it’s always difficult when a group of new friends meet together for the first time to get aquatinted, though I’m perfectly prepared to start the ball rolling, I mean, I, I have absolutely no idea what we’re doing here or what I’m doing here or what this place is about, but I am determined to enjoy myself, and very intrigued, and oh my this soup’s delicious isn’t it?”
– Mrs. Peacock (Eileen Brennan), Clue

• So while walking down the corridor here in the basement of the Cummins COB, I walked by this guy in a wheelchair who also works down here. I wonder if he realized, at the time, that there were multicolored, blinking lights in the front wheels of his wheelchair. It’s freakin’ Christmas-time in them thar wheels. He gave me an odd stare when passing by me, saying “hello” and stuff.
• What is it about being an e-mail newbie that makes you want to forward all the stupid shit in your inbox to people like me, who don’t give a flying fark about it? MNS can probably sympathize with my plight. If another friend sends me another e-mail hoax, I’m going to drop a funk bomb on ‘em. That’s right folks! I’m sending George Clinton to smoke the bitch.
• I have decided that I like Nagios much better than Big Brother for monitoring networks and servers. Nagios has definitely come a long way since the first time I tried it (back years ago when it was called NetSaint).
• Since I lost my cell phone (LG 5350) I went ahead and bought another phone of the same model. I can’t believe I just spent another $150.00 on a cell phone. On the bright side, if someone does try to activate my old phone, Sprint PCS will keep it and should notify me so I can get it back.
• In about a week I’m heading down south to see Thunder Over Louisville, which is this fireworks display held on one of the bridges crossing the Ohio River. As I understand, it officialy kicks off all of the events leading up to the Kentucky Derby. I’m going to go stay with my sister and her husband.

[This article has been retroactively posted from my Kuro5hin Diary.]

Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Two. One to call the electrician while the other makes the martinis.

[This article has been retroactively posted from my Kuro5hin Diary.]

There is nothing worse than being at work and getting an erection while sitting at your desk — being completely unable to stand up, at least in the non-euphamistic way.

I can’t seem to get rid of it, either. I swear I wasn’t thinking about sex!

[This article has been retroactively posted from my Kuro5hin Diary.]

“How does your roomies b/f make money operating a male escort service? Whenever Egg Troll has tried to whore out his tight li’l ass he has to compete with the queens down at Daddy’s who give it away for free! In a way, its a good metaphor for the whole commercial vs open source software situation.”
– egg_troll

• I’m settling into the new place quite comfortably; however, I haven’t been around much in the evening this week.
• I decided a long time ago that I was going to retire my old server at home and build a new box. I very much would like to use RAID1 and have been experimenting with software-based RAID, specifically vinum(4), but I have found it to be lacking in many ways. I have come to the conclusion that a hardware-based solution is the right choice, for now. So far, I am liking the FastTrak TX2000 from Promise, especially since it has support built into FreeBSD’s ata(4) driver, which means I can take advantage of the relatively easy-to-use atacontrol(8) command to rebuild the RAID. It’s relatively cheap and also makes the baby Jeebus giggle.
• So, Queer as Folk is such a silly show sometimes. I am compelled to watch it (sex scenes), but to me it represents a projectional (i.e. the attribution of one’s own attitudes, feelings, or suppositions to others) image of gays, as gay people like to see themselves as being. In real life, that image only seems to exist amongst lesbyterians, and at certain dinner parties.
• If you’ve ever felt down or lonely or anything negative about your romantic relationships (or lack thereof), for a pick-me-up, you should visit Heartless Bitches International, especially you women. For men, simply adjust your pronouns, as necessary.
• Returning to the topic of computers, I am going to take my old server and put a smaller hard drive in it and then use it as a router/firewall. I am currently borrowing a Netopia router, which has worked very well, but I don’t get nearly the amount of pleasure from it as I would setting up my own router with ipfilter, snort, etc.
• I just found out about ten minutes ago that my contract has officially been extended here at Cummins through June. Woohoo! I don’t know exactly what I will be doing, but at least I have three more months of steady income. All praise be to Allah!
• fin