The Net Monkey

I would like to share with you a few universal truths.

1. Hillary Clinton will not be the next President of the United States. If the Democrats are smart, they’ll avoid New England like the plague. I don’t care if she’s from Arkansas. She hails from New York now! Personally, I’m pulling for Evan Bayh, but then I’m biassed. Ain’t nothing wrong with a moderate Democrat from the midwest.
2. It is a well known fact that all mens’ restrooms smell bad. This is true without regard to locale, including mine upstairs next to my bedroom; however, public restrooms tend to smell much worse. Office restrooms, too.
3. My friend Matthew Sharp (simply known as “mns” to the common man) is actually an anarchist posing as a liberterian. Spray-painted any war memorials lately, Mr. Sharp?
4. I suck at pool … most of the time.

Thanks for letting me share.

I had a good day today at work.

Had a great meeting with representatives from Akamai. I think my company may be able to leverage (buzz word!) their technology to help further our goal of global domination.

411 y0ur 3-M4i1$ 4r3 b310Ng +0 u$!!1!!1!!11

Since I’m having so much fun with my online friends, taking personality tests, here is one that is rather general and about relationships.

Steady & mature. You are The Gentleman.

For anyone looking for an even-keeled, considerate lover, you’re their man. You’re sophisticated. You know what you want both in a relationship and outside of it. You have a substantial romantic side, and you’re experienced enough sexually to handle yourself in that arena, too. Your future relationships will be long-lasting; you’re classic “marrying material,” a prize in the eyes of many.

It’s possible that behind it all, you’re a bit of a male slut. Your best friends know that in relationships you’re fundamentally sex-driven. You’re a safe, reliable guy, who does get laid. In a lot of ways, you’re like a well-worn, comfortable pair of socks. Did you ever jack off into one of those? All the time.

CONSIDER: The Gentleman, someone just like you.

I must admit that I feel a little uninteresting right now.

Take the test, too, and tell me the results.

I’m silicon! Very appropriate for a computer nerd such as myself.

Here is what it said about my personality.

Interesting. Take a bunch of really common person-elements and throw them together to get something truely exceptional… that’s you. You are probably someone that gave up on trying to understand society at large a long time ago. You don’t fear it, but you don’t try to be one with it either. You are more or less unperturbed by things… if a problem comes up you might deal with it, or you might avoid it… whatever. You don’t take kindly to people pushing you around, and you don’t really push anyone else around. You’re probably the only one that can tame oxygen simply because you don’t understand it’s raging neediness, but that doesn’t mean that you’ll really enjoy having a tame oxygen hanging around all that much either. You can probably get along with people like yourself really well, but you aren’t your own soulmate… if only they could make entire colonies of people like you you’d be stoked. Just like you don’t understand society, society doesn’t understand you… and yes that is my excuse for not knowing how to describe you better.

Not a bad description, if you ask me.

Take the test yourself and tell me your element.

I saw this posted on Slashdot today.

http://www.solardeathray.com/

Enjoy!

An aunt passed away last night after suffering from congestive heart failure. Her name was Hallie Marie Simmons and she was the last sibling of my grandmother, having been born in 1916 in Macon County, Tennessee, near the border with Kentucky.

When Aunt Marie was a teenager attending Shortridge High School, she became mentally ill with a form of schizophrenia. As a result, she spent the vast majority of her life institutionalized, including a long stint at Central State Hospital here in Indianapolis. Her last years were spent at a nursing home on the north side of the city.

My great-grandparents took care of Marie’s affairs, until they both died. The role then fell on to my grandmother, and then landed on my father, after Grandma passed away in the early 80’s.

Today I went with my parents to make arrangements for her cremation. Afterwards, we went over to the nursing home and gathered her remaining belongings. All we took were a few clothes and a television, and the rest is simply being donated. She didn’t have much.

We will receive her ashes sometime this coming week. We haven’t made any firm plans on what to do with the ashes, but across the border from Kentucky, in Tennessee, is this small cemetery where many of my ancestors are buried. We might take her ashes there, near the graves of her parents, or we may find the location of the old family farm and do it there.

It is unfortunate that I never got know my aunt, but then, at the same time, there was a never a chance of knowing her or having a functional relationship. She just wasn’t there, in her head. But now I think I’m just happy that her suffering is over.

I know it is against my religion and all, but I think Microsoft Operations Manager (MOM) is a very nice product. We had a demonstration yesterday and it would seem that we’ve made the decision to buy it here at work.

MOM, if you don’t know, is software that allows people like me to monitor network servers and other devices. Essentially, it notifies us of problems, such as a server being down or a problem with our web site.

I love this link.