The Net Monkey

I stole this one from Steph’s blog. Enjoy!

• You’ve never met any celebrities.
• Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
• “Vacation” means driving through Amish Country or going to the State Fair.
• You’ve seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
• You measure distance in minutes.
• You know several people who have hit a deer.
• You have no problem spelling or pronouncing “Terre Haute.”
• Your school classes were cancelled because of cold.
• Your school classes were cancelled because of heat.
• You know where all the Yoders live.
• You’ve ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
• You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
• You think ethanol makes your truck “run a lot better.”
• You know what’s knee-high by the Fourth of July.
• Stores don’t have bags, they have sacks.
• You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
• You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
• You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: “Where’s my coat at?” or “Who are you gonna go with?”
• All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain.
• De-tassling was your first job (that’s de-tassling corn for you city folk).
• Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice.
• You say catty-wumpus and kitty-corner.
• You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
• You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
• When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say, “It was different.”
• You consider being called a “Pork Queen” an honor.
• You carry jumper cables in your car.
• You know what “cow tipping” is.

I’m a little embarrassed now. :-)

Oh, by the way, it is the corn that must be knee-high by July 4, in case you didn’t know.