The Net Monkey

Inguinal Mania

January 15, 2008 | In: Humor, Personal

This morning when I got to work, I sat down at my desk and started feeling a bit of discomfort in my lower abdomen. I was bothered by this because about two years ago, I had laparoscopic surgery to have my appendix removed, and the doctor told me afterwards that he found a very small hernia. It wasn’t anything serious in there, and said that I should have it checked whenever I visit the doctor. The pain led me to think that something was up with the hernia since my pain seemed to be in the right location.

I immediately running through all the consequences in my head. I was first a bit angry that I might have yet another hospital visit. I’ve had two of them in the last two years: to have my appendix removed and an emergency room visit due to a worst-pain-ever kidney stone. I was like, “Oh, please! Not AGAIN!”

I knew that if I had surgery, I’d end up having to fork over a lot of money. Insurance will only cover so much. I would prefer to use the money elsewhere (such as paying down my debts), but it’s my health and it isn’t worth sacrificing. The other thing I dreaded was that I’d be out of the office for the rest of the week, at least. The idea sucked because I have a lot of shit to do, but it certainly isn’t that big of a deal. My boss is very understanding and would prefer that I heal.

So, you know what bothered me the most about possibly having hernia surgery?

Since someone would be coming into my condo to pick up things for me, including Bess, I was concerned about the slovenly display of candy wrappers on the table next to the sofa, the boxes of opened Christmas gifts on the living room floor, and the dirty kitchen from last night’s cooking fun. I actually considered stopping by my home before going to see the doctor in order to clean it up. God forbid someone like my father saw my messy home!

Anyway, the pain turned out not to be anything serious. You want to know what was wrong?

After about 30 minutes or so, I farted and suddenly felt a lot better.

3 Responses to "Inguinal Mania"

1 | Johnny

January 16th, 2008 at 4:56 PM

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LOL!! A good fart a day keeps the doctor away.

2 | agent detroit

January 16th, 2008 at 4:57 PM

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a friend of mine was in excruciating pain, and was convinced he was dying. at the e.r. , the doctor did a short examination, and pressed firmly on his distended belly. he expelled a HUGE 15 second fart, and was immediately cured!

3 | Watusi Jenkins

January 17th, 2008 at 11:00 AM

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Gurl, this story is so YOU. :-)

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My name is Matt and I’m a 31 year old man living in Indianapolis.

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